Please help..My husband is hiding his cellphone bill, email and voicemail passwords,has a password to even log?

on to his laptop, leaves his cellphone on silent %26amp; keeps it by him at all times. He is also taking advantage of any opportunity he can to leave the house. If we have a disagreement he leaves and claims he has to leave the house because of the "toxic" situation. He claims hes going to the library to do homework, but he could have done his homework right here at home. He claims,that if he doesn't give me access to these things that I will learn to trust him. But,I totally disagree. How can I trust someone that is hiding things from me. I feel like


'if you have nothing to hide,you hide nothing".


What's your take on this?

Please help..My husband is hiding his cellphone bill, email and voicemail passwords,has a password to even log?
My husband use to look for excuses to argue with me to leave the house. He use to tell me he was going to the library also. He was in night school so I believed him.





But one day I was taking our son to the library (my ex had not come home all night). He was out drinking the night before so I thought he was over one of his brother's.





Imagine my surprise when I turned onto the road leading to the library and saw my ex husbands car in front of an apartment building. I went inside to see who lived there. A woman's name was on the mailbox.





And could you imagine the hurt when this affair was going on right across the street from the Church we were married in.





You are right in not trusting him. He is cheating on you. If he had nothing to hide why is he hiding it? Its not so that you will learn to trust him. Its because he is doing something he doesn't want you to know about.





You have to be strong , tell him not to insult your intelligence and that if he wants to stay married to give you access to all of those things. Tell him if you are wrong you will apologize and never mistrust him again.
Reply:I totally agree on that. He is definitely hiding something BIG from you. I know for a fact because I was in your same situation. The things I found out were so devastating to me. I don't trust him anymore at all and any man for that matter. Do some investigating with his phone when he is in the shower or sleeping. You have every right to know what the hell is going on. Be strong and don't let him make it your problem cause it is really his!!!!!
Reply:'if you have nothing to hide,you hide nothing".





You are exactly right. We all need our privacy to a certain extent but his actions speak volumes, it's alot more than an issue with you treading into his territory of privacy boundries.





Don't let him turn it around on you and make it your problem with "trust". Some marriage counsling may be a good idea and will put you both in a less, (to use your/his word) "toxi" atmosphere.
Reply:u are 100% right, if they aren't hiding anything, it wouldn't bother them...now, get ureself a keylogger and install it on the computer and catch him redhanded, if that doesn't work, there are cameras the size of a pack of gum that are pretty inexpensive u can place around the house or on his car (providing it doesn't rain)...good luck
Reply:Um, this is complete deja vu for me. I asked a similar question on here last year about my husband who was acting in the same manner. This past April, he finally confessed that he had been having an affair with my ultrasound tech from when I was pregnant. At the time he confessed, our son was 9 months old. I hate to tell you this, but trust your gut. I should have!
Reply:I completely agree with you. If he won't listen to you, start acting all shady, and hide your stuff too. And leave the house with a ridiculous claim like he does and see how he likes it. This would make me really upset as well.
Reply:There is really no reason to hide things in a marriage,you already know what everybodys take is on this,follow you gut instinct and confront him on why he is cheating on you
Reply:The main reason a man locks his gadgets, cell on silent and have his possessions on guard is that he is cheating. Good luck in trying to find out and then work on your marriage.
Reply:been there....my husband did that for 2 months, and then left for another woman...........SO, MY BET IS THAT HE IS CHEATING.


i'm sorry that you have to go through this...its so hard not to trust someone and love them at the same time!
Reply:It sounds like cheating to me. If he has nothing to hide then why all of the secrets. The next time he leaves then try to follow him if that is possible.
Reply:what happened to those nice words like "trust", "respect to privacy" etc?





If you thikn he's having an affair, go face it...





the link below gives out some clues to bust a cheating hubby
Reply:That doesn't sound like a good situation to me! I'd be really mad. You may want to evaluate your situation...
Reply:Babygirl1,


You already know, what you don't want to hear. Why ask?


I know you are smarter than that~!
Reply:Yup, you have a cheater on your hands. Good luck!
Reply:He's cheating is my answer......
Reply:trust your instincts. you already know what is going on.
Reply:Do you monitor him when he is the bathroom too?
Reply:Do you really "put down" what he writes? Criticize that which he values? See a counselor and tell him precisely how you two interact. Maybe you need to get to know yourself, and him, better.
Reply:Ok I will be completely honest with you. He's lying to you. It's very obvious. You are married to him so what's the big secret and why is he trying to control you by putting his phone on silent/hiding passwords to make you build trust in him. Im 24 and not married. I was in a relationship and did JUST THAT to my then boyfriend bc i was LYING because i was talking to someone else (it sounds bad but the relationship had issues, point is i was not married and broke up with him afterwords). Don't deal with that stuff. It breaks my heart because your in a difficult situation... but look, if he's lying to you, in the end he will get caught and have to face the consequences. If i were you, i'd tell him to either put his phone back on ring, show you his bills and stop leaving to "Study" if he truly has nothing to hide..otherwise to "f" himself bc you are definately not being insecure.. he is doing things to make you feel this way and you need to put him in his place. DO NOT let him manipulate you into believing you can't trust him and that is why he does these things to you.


Hope i helped.